My human is definitely a really strange sort of creature. She thinks it's a good idea to go out and play in the heat. Play! All I wanted to do was lie indoors and sleep but oh no, she was out in the garden with my tennis ball in her hand trying to make me run around. Well, I was having none of it so when she threw my ball, I sauntered up the garden after it, had a sniff then sauntered back. She then went and collected it, brought it back and threw it again. So that continued until she finally caught on that I wasn't interested and we came back inside. Humans really do have the strangest of ideas.
This evening I've been snoozing and dozing. I had my dinner then went and found a plastic tub to play with. I was ready to get in trouble for that but my human didn't seem too bothered. She's so laid back, not much ever appears to bother her. Well, not much aside from being in the park and me ignoring her. She has this whistle thing and it is seriously loud. I think it must wake up every superior being in the neighbourhood nevermind the inferior humans.
Time for sleep.
Friday 30 September 2011
Thursday 29 September 2011
Batty
I managed to get my human to take me out to the park this evening. Being lazy all day is nice but I do love a run around with my ball. We saw a few other humans and a couple of other Superior Beings like myself but my human wasn't amused when I ignored her and tried to play with the others. Earlier this afternoon she told me I was driving her batty because I wouldn't pick a spot and lie down, I kept getting up and moving to cool spots on the floor.
Well, that was a funny thing for my human to say because at the park there were lots of strange little creatures flying around. I knew they weren't birds, well not any kind of bird I've seen before and they were moving so fast I had to run in circles to keep watching them. My human said that they are bats but she didn't say they were driving her batty. The cheek. The wretched things were flying around in circles above my human and me when all I wanted to do was play with my ball.
I think my human rather likes bats, she didn't make any noise or try to run away. Not like the other human I saw. That human looked really scared. Honestly, the tiny little things weren't interested. In fact, those bats are more aloof than I am with the humans.
Well, that was a funny thing for my human to say because at the park there were lots of strange little creatures flying around. I knew they weren't birds, well not any kind of bird I've seen before and they were moving so fast I had to run in circles to keep watching them. My human said that they are bats but she didn't say they were driving her batty. The cheek. The wretched things were flying around in circles above my human and me when all I wanted to do was play with my ball.
I think my human rather likes bats, she didn't make any noise or try to run away. Not like the other human I saw. That human looked really scared. Honestly, the tiny little things weren't interested. In fact, those bats are more aloof than I am with the humans.
Lazy Thursday
Today has made up for the busy Sunday I had this week. Yesterday's adventures have worn me out and my human isn't much better. We're both really tired and I've been asleep all day long so far. It's very hot outside and it's nice to have some dry weather but the bright, hot sunshine is no good for a handsome fellow like me with a pure black coat. My human says we can go out for a run around later when it get's a bit cooler but I don't know if I can be bothered, I keep trying to tell her that by flopping down and sighing a lot but I'm not sure that her inferior human intelligence understands my communicative efforts.
I may write more later or I may just continue to laze around and snooze.
I may write more later or I may just continue to laze around and snooze.
Wednesday 28 September 2011
New Humans
Today was a real adventure and I really enjoyed most of it. I was taken on a Bus Contraption, a sort of half size thing with no upstairs like the other one. I did sit down most of the time but kept my eyes on the door and plotted my escape. Unfortunately it would appear that my human was wise to this and she kept me close and on my lead.
We got off the Bus Contraption and had a nice walk through some old hospital place or other, my human didn't seem too impressed and kept telling me about it being a disgrace that it's going to wrack and ruin. I think I'd rather enjoy ruins, especially if there were rabbits and other jumpy things living there. I decided to behave well on my lead today because my human had my favourite toy in her bag and I get it to play with when I'm good. I suspect she may be trying to bribe me but I don't mind too much because it's a nice bribe. Not like going to the vet where I have the indignity of getting poked and prodded then only end up with a biscuit. I think a vet visit is worth at least a new ball.
After we'd walked we got to another hospital but this one was busy and not in wrack and ruin. Well, I don't think it was but what do I know. We went to some building with a garden and trees around it but the most exciting bit about the walk there was the squirrel I saw. I was pulling, jumping...trying anything to let my human know I wanted to go and play with it. She had other ideas and said no. One thing about my human is there's no point arguing if she says no because she really means it. I'll have to work on that.
So this building we went to was really lovely and there was a huge bowl of water waiting for me. That was a great relief because it was very hot today. A few humans were sitting at a table, talking as usual because that seems to be all humans ever do. When they saw me coming they all came to say hello and make a big fuss of me. My human said I'm antisocial because I mostly wasn't interested in them but I was really just pretending not to be interested. Under my calm and aloof exterior I was loving all the attention. I think my human will take me there again because she says it's a very special place. This is why she says that;
A long time ago there was a lady called Maggie and she wasn't very well. Maggie wanted to make a special place for humans who are ill to go and be able to talk and have a nice place to sit together and get help or support. Maggie cared such a lot about getting it right and did design and everything to make it just right. It's very sad but Maggie died before it was all finished and so she never got to see her special place. Maggie's husband has been into the special building and he thinks it's brilliant. The name of the building is Maggie's Centre and it's in Edinburgh but there are others all over the place now, even in Hong Kong which is a very long way away.
My human goes to Maggie's Centre because she isn't very well and the other humans there help her to figure stuff out and they make sure she understands all the hard medical bits. She told me that Maggie's is not only a special place because of the lady called Maggie but because everyone who goes there is really kind and understanding to each other. I like it because I get biscuits.
When we were finished meeting all the new humans we had to go on another Bus Contraption to come home. I was tired after the day of adventures and I decided to lie down and sleep. After we got home I had some dinner and water and now I'm going off to cuddle down for the night.
PS, my human says I need to share the URL for Maggie's Centre so other people can read about what it is, what it does and a bit more about it. So I'll oblige - here it is: http://bit.ly/pHVmWd
We got off the Bus Contraption and had a nice walk through some old hospital place or other, my human didn't seem too impressed and kept telling me about it being a disgrace that it's going to wrack and ruin. I think I'd rather enjoy ruins, especially if there were rabbits and other jumpy things living there. I decided to behave well on my lead today because my human had my favourite toy in her bag and I get it to play with when I'm good. I suspect she may be trying to bribe me but I don't mind too much because it's a nice bribe. Not like going to the vet where I have the indignity of getting poked and prodded then only end up with a biscuit. I think a vet visit is worth at least a new ball.
After we'd walked we got to another hospital but this one was busy and not in wrack and ruin. Well, I don't think it was but what do I know. We went to some building with a garden and trees around it but the most exciting bit about the walk there was the squirrel I saw. I was pulling, jumping...trying anything to let my human know I wanted to go and play with it. She had other ideas and said no. One thing about my human is there's no point arguing if she says no because she really means it. I'll have to work on that.
So this building we went to was really lovely and there was a huge bowl of water waiting for me. That was a great relief because it was very hot today. A few humans were sitting at a table, talking as usual because that seems to be all humans ever do. When they saw me coming they all came to say hello and make a big fuss of me. My human said I'm antisocial because I mostly wasn't interested in them but I was really just pretending not to be interested. Under my calm and aloof exterior I was loving all the attention. I think my human will take me there again because she says it's a very special place. This is why she says that;
A long time ago there was a lady called Maggie and she wasn't very well. Maggie wanted to make a special place for humans who are ill to go and be able to talk and have a nice place to sit together and get help or support. Maggie cared such a lot about getting it right and did design and everything to make it just right. It's very sad but Maggie died before it was all finished and so she never got to see her special place. Maggie's husband has been into the special building and he thinks it's brilliant. The name of the building is Maggie's Centre and it's in Edinburgh but there are others all over the place now, even in Hong Kong which is a very long way away.
My human goes to Maggie's Centre because she isn't very well and the other humans there help her to figure stuff out and they make sure she understands all the hard medical bits. She told me that Maggie's is not only a special place because of the lady called Maggie but because everyone who goes there is really kind and understanding to each other. I like it because I get biscuits.
When we were finished meeting all the new humans we had to go on another Bus Contraption to come home. I was tired after the day of adventures and I decided to lie down and sleep. After we got home I had some dinner and water and now I'm going off to cuddle down for the night.
PS, my human says I need to share the URL for Maggie's Centre so other people can read about what it is, what it does and a bit more about it. So I'll oblige - here it is: http://bit.ly/pHVmWd
Tuesday 27 September 2011
Duped
Last night I was duped by the human. She made out that we were going for a run in the park but actually it was a test and we went on a monstrous contraption called a Bus. Thank goodness we didn't go very far as it was the most unexciting thing I have ever experienced. Worse even than the chit chat that the humans have with each other. Anyway, I did get a good run around in an enormous park after getting off the Bus Contraption and that did sort of make up for the indignity of it all.
Today I was taken to a shop to get a new tag for my collar. The human got her name and phone number written on it which is all fine unless some inferior being thinks that's actually my name. So if I get lost she'll get a phone call on that noisy thing she carries around everywhere with her. Really, she treats it as if it's a bone or something actually precious. Noisy piece of metal rubbish.
It was hot outside this afternoon, I didn't enjoy the walk to the shops very much there was lots of traffic and noise. No, I like my parks a lot better - even if I do get taken on that Bus Contraption to get to one. Hopefully the human will realise I don't particularly like going on the Bus and will walk me everywhere instead but I suspect she intends to take me more places on it.
I don't intend to get duped in this way again. I must restore my superiority before the human thinks she is in charge.
Today I was taken to a shop to get a new tag for my collar. The human got her name and phone number written on it which is all fine unless some inferior being thinks that's actually my name. So if I get lost she'll get a phone call on that noisy thing she carries around everywhere with her. Really, she treats it as if it's a bone or something actually precious. Noisy piece of metal rubbish.
It was hot outside this afternoon, I didn't enjoy the walk to the shops very much there was lots of traffic and noise. No, I like my parks a lot better - even if I do get taken on that Bus Contraption to get to one. Hopefully the human will realise I don't particularly like going on the Bus and will walk me everywhere instead but I suspect she intends to take me more places on it.
I don't intend to get duped in this way again. I must restore my superiority before the human thinks she is in charge.
Monday 26 September 2011
Non Stop
It's been a busy day in Dante Towers. I got three parcels in the post and now have a few more toys, new collar and lead and a huge bag of food. One of the delivery humans gave me a pat but I didn't mind. This afternoon I had a surprise visitor who brought me a toy which I really like and am carrying around with me. He was a nice human but too strong for me to pull along on our walk. I didn't know what a visitor was until today but it seems that a visitor is when a new human comes to Dante Towers to drink tea and bring toys. Visitor and my human drank tea while I chewed on a rawhide bone. I was bored with their chitter chatter anyway. Why do the humans seem to talk so much? Us superior beings don't bother with all that, just a quick sniff of a bum and wag of a tail then on with the playing. We have our priorities right.
The human thinks that we're going on a bus tomorrow to see if I like it. I'm not sure if I'll play along or say I'm not going to do it. Perhaps if I am able to bribe some treats as a reward for behaving well and I get a walk at the end of it then I'll decide to co-operate. I have a master plan, of course. The human doesn't suspect a thing. It mainly involves as many treats and nice things as I can get for the minimum effort and the human will never guess what I'm up to.
I'm tired now, I've earned a snooze.
The human thinks that we're going on a bus tomorrow to see if I like it. I'm not sure if I'll play along or say I'm not going to do it. Perhaps if I am able to bribe some treats as a reward for behaving well and I get a walk at the end of it then I'll decide to co-operate. I have a master plan, of course. The human doesn't suspect a thing. It mainly involves as many treats and nice things as I can get for the minimum effort and the human will never guess what I'm up to.
I'm tired now, I've earned a snooze.
Sunday 25 September 2011
Don't They Know It's Sunday?
I had the human up and awake at 5am this morning. Unfortunately it was not to play with me but to clean up my vomit in the hall. She was remarkably calm about it all, I had suspected that she might be somewhat grumpy considering the mess but all she did was put paper over it and take me out to the garden for a bit of fresh air. Then we went back and had a nice sleep. I was surprised but she was very kind.
One thing I have noticed about my human is that she doesn't seem to raise her voice, she tells me that she doesn't like noise very much and when we're inside she tells me things in a whisper. This is new to me but I like it. I am getting to know the House Rules but of course being of superior intelligence I only need to be told twice. I have been following her from room to room so that I can keep an eye on her and make sure that she is behaving properly but soon I will let her out of sight for a few minutes. Once I know she's not going to get locked in the bathroom or something like that.
My main complaint at this point in time is that humans don't seem to understand that Sunday is supposed to be a quiet day of doing nothing, sleeping the time away in peace and quiet. The only point of being awake is to go out into the garden. But, I will have my work cut out on this I fear. I was all nice and settled when the human decides it's time to go for a walk. A walk! I ask you, what exactly did she think the purpose of that was going to be?
So, off we trotted, and I tried very hard to show that I remember the "lead manners" she taught me yesterday and she seemed to be very pleased with me. I still tried to pull her along but I have realised that there may be no point to doing that as she just stands still and waits for me to come back. She keeps saying "Dante Heel" which is her way of telling me to walk without pulling. I might not make it obvious yet that I know that. Anyway, it was so hot outside and I was pleased when we got into a shaded spot. I stopped to scratch my ear and along came another human. She had a bunch of flowers with her but I sniffed them and they weren't my type of thing. The human wanted to pet me and that's all fine but I'm a boy and don't really go in for the mushy stuff. I let her scratch my head and she told me I'm a handsome boy with lovely eyes. Well, I know that but it was nice of her to remind me. My human and that other one started to chat, the way humans do...I sat down and looked as bored as I could to make them talk faster.
Now we are home, its lovely and cool in this room so I'm going off to have a deserved nap. The human is watching television, some kind of rubbish about nothing in particular.
Honestly, being energetic on a Sunday. Whatever next.
One thing I have noticed about my human is that she doesn't seem to raise her voice, she tells me that she doesn't like noise very much and when we're inside she tells me things in a whisper. This is new to me but I like it. I am getting to know the House Rules but of course being of superior intelligence I only need to be told twice. I have been following her from room to room so that I can keep an eye on her and make sure that she is behaving properly but soon I will let her out of sight for a few minutes. Once I know she's not going to get locked in the bathroom or something like that.
My main complaint at this point in time is that humans don't seem to understand that Sunday is supposed to be a quiet day of doing nothing, sleeping the time away in peace and quiet. The only point of being awake is to go out into the garden. But, I will have my work cut out on this I fear. I was all nice and settled when the human decides it's time to go for a walk. A walk! I ask you, what exactly did she think the purpose of that was going to be?
So, off we trotted, and I tried very hard to show that I remember the "lead manners" she taught me yesterday and she seemed to be very pleased with me. I still tried to pull her along but I have realised that there may be no point to doing that as she just stands still and waits for me to come back. She keeps saying "Dante Heel" which is her way of telling me to walk without pulling. I might not make it obvious yet that I know that. Anyway, it was so hot outside and I was pleased when we got into a shaded spot. I stopped to scratch my ear and along came another human. She had a bunch of flowers with her but I sniffed them and they weren't my type of thing. The human wanted to pet me and that's all fine but I'm a boy and don't really go in for the mushy stuff. I let her scratch my head and she told me I'm a handsome boy with lovely eyes. Well, I know that but it was nice of her to remind me. My human and that other one started to chat, the way humans do...I sat down and looked as bored as I could to make them talk faster.
Now we are home, its lovely and cool in this room so I'm going off to have a deserved nap. The human is watching television, some kind of rubbish about nothing in particular.
Honestly, being energetic on a Sunday. Whatever next.
Saturday 24 September 2011
Something Afoot
I knew the humans were up to something. They've been acting even more strangely than usual for the past few days. The other night I got put in the car, I don't enjoy the car and I let them know that by refusing to jump in. I make them work and they lift me instead. Humans are so easy to manipulate, they don't even realise it's part of my grand plan.
Anyway, I was then driven to some city or other and bundled out and made to walk for a while. I do like walking, I especially like pulling a human along behind me. We ended up at a big park with hills, trees, benches and that kind of stuff. The human appeared to be meeting one of their kind but I pretended not to be interested in them. The new human asked lots of questions about me and then took hold of my lead. I did my best to pull and get my own way but this one is strong. I think she may have done that before.
I did get a nice walk but I wasn't on my best behaviour I wanted to know what the humans were plotting and just how I'd become involved in it. They took me back to the car and I made them lift me in again - I do so like being awkward about such things. Then one human drove me out of the city and the other one disappeared.
Then, this morning I was once again put in the car and driven back to that city but this time my bed and treats were with me in the car. I did wonder if we were going for a picnic or other adventure but when we parked the human from the other night was there waiting for us. So it turns out this is going to be my new place to live.
New human is nice, she's very kind and has been helping me settle in. We've been for two great walks but she doesn't seem to like being pulled and I think that I might have to start walking with manners. But not yet, that would be too easy. We laid on the floor together this afternoon and I had a sleep while she fiddled with some irritating noisy gadget of some sort.
I think I'm going to like it here. But the human needs a lot of training.
Anyway, I was then driven to some city or other and bundled out and made to walk for a while. I do like walking, I especially like pulling a human along behind me. We ended up at a big park with hills, trees, benches and that kind of stuff. The human appeared to be meeting one of their kind but I pretended not to be interested in them. The new human asked lots of questions about me and then took hold of my lead. I did my best to pull and get my own way but this one is strong. I think she may have done that before.
I did get a nice walk but I wasn't on my best behaviour I wanted to know what the humans were plotting and just how I'd become involved in it. They took me back to the car and I made them lift me in again - I do so like being awkward about such things. Then one human drove me out of the city and the other one disappeared.
Then, this morning I was once again put in the car and driven back to that city but this time my bed and treats were with me in the car. I did wonder if we were going for a picnic or other adventure but when we parked the human from the other night was there waiting for us. So it turns out this is going to be my new place to live.
New human is nice, she's very kind and has been helping me settle in. We've been for two great walks but she doesn't seem to like being pulled and I think that I might have to start walking with manners. But not yet, that would be too easy. We laid on the floor together this afternoon and I had a sleep while she fiddled with some irritating noisy gadget of some sort.
I think I'm going to like it here. But the human needs a lot of training.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)