A Long Break

I thought it was about time that I updated this old blog of mine.  My human says I have plenty to tell you about and for once she's right so, here goes.

Way back in November my human went away to visit her parents and because it's such a long way I got to go on my very own holiday.  I stayed with lots of other superior beings in a place called a "boarding kennel".  I made some new friends and had a nice comfy bed to sleep in with meals, water and walks all thrown in.  To be honest I did miss my human a bit and I was very pleased to see her when she came to collect me.  I was even more pleased when we got home and I got to play with my own toys.

After all that excitement I managed to catch a thing called "kennel cough".  I'm not sure what it is but I got taken to see the vet and I was feeling really awful.  The vet was very nice, my human was all worried about me and she had that water all over her face again.  I've had to keep nice and quiet indoors for two whole weeks but I have been very good.  My human said she is really proud of me.  I'm starting to feel better now but I am so tired.

Tonight my human took me to the park for the first time since I got ill and I enjoyed it.  She even let me play with my ball for a couple of minutes but I was so tired that I didn't want to play for long.  Now we're back home and I'm going to lie next to a radiator and have a snooze.

Missed Me?

I haven't had a moment to myself this week so I decided that an otherwise boring Saturday evening would suit to try and catch up with this thing.

So, I've been out this week with the Superior Human three times, he's great but I keep trying to make him take me away with him for more adventures and he never does.  One day I'll smuggle myself into his car and go off on a little Superior tour.  Yes, that sounds grand.

Then another new human came to my house to meet me and said I'm gorgeous and very clever.  Well, while I already know this it's nice to be reminded.  Anyway, this new human appears to be another Superior one and is going to take me out next week to see how I get on with her and the Superior Beings that she also takes out.  I'm very much looking forward to that, more friends for me!

I was out on Thursday with a superior being sitter person.  It didn't go very well, I'm not going to be going back to her again.  She is brilliant but she has two of her own Superior Beings and one of them really didn't like me.  I tried hard to be nice and friendly but it didn't work.  My human and me think that it's not very fair if me being around will upset the other Superior Being so I might just go with that human if its an emergency walk.

My human had to go to the vet yesterday so I stayed at home with one of my favourite visitor humans.  He was doing something called Work so I was very good and didn't bother him too much.  I'm not too sure what work is but it seems to consist of talking on his noisy metal contraption a lot.  My human does that, I think its like a bone because most humans seem to carry them around and wont let other humans touch them.  Yes, I think that they are human bones.

When my human got home yesterday she was very tired again, the vets seem to make her more tired than she usually is but I'm not sure why.  Anyway, she went to have a sleep and I went with her to make sure she was ok.  I had to wake her up to give me my dinner but she didn't mind and then later I woke her up again to let me out in my garden.  My human is really kind, she doesn't get annoyed at all and gives me loads of cuddles.

Today I've been making my human play with me and my toys and we went to my park for a little while too.  She says that tonight there might be some loud noises called Bangs and some pretty lights in the sky.  Apparently humans do this deliberately today I'm not sure what the point of it all is but so long as it doesn't wake me up I don't care.  I'm not scared of loud noises* or lights so I'll just tell her she shouldn't be either.

Now I need my dinner.




*note from Danté's human: he certainly doesn't mind loud noises having been in the city this week when the One O'Clock Gun went off.  I jumped a mile, he just looked over his shoulder and carried on walking.

Very Naughty Day

My human and I had a grand adventure today.  First she went to a shop called a post office, I got tied up outside it and I was very unhappy about that.  I made sure that everyone walking past and inside the post office knew it by jumping around and barking very loudly and sharply.  My human told me I'm an embarrassment and that she can't take me anywhere.  Pah.

Then we went on a Bus Contraption to the city where we had a very nice walk through a place called Prince's St Gardens.  I was more interested in the squirrels and pigeons than anything else but when I tried to pull her along to chase a crow she said I shouldn't even think about it.  She's such a spoilsport!

After all of that we met a new human but I just ignored him.  I'm good at ignoring people, right now I'm ignoring my human.

My human let me off my lead for a run and then I wouldn't go back to her.  I pretended I couldn't hear her and when she and the new human got too close I knew they wanted to catch me so I kept running away.

Yes, a very very naughty and enjoyable day.

Tired

My human took me out yesterday.  I thought we were just going to my park because she took my ball with her but we ended up going for a really long run in among trees and loads of mud.  She told me that we'd been out for something called 3 hours but I told her we'd just been out for really good fun.  I met some other superior beings and their humans, one of them was going to be in big trouble with her human because she was rolling around in a big muddy puddle and her black fur was all sticky and horrible.  I was laughing at her all filthy but I never went in to try it out, I think my human was pleased about that.

When we got home I had a huge drink of water and then decided to go and sleep on my human's bed.  She made a cup of that hot stuff she drinks and then came to keep me company.  She fell asleep too and I had to wake her up to give me my dinner.  Honestly, what would she do without me?


Today has been very quiet, I'm not feeling very well.  I was sick all over the livingroom rug and the hall.  My human doesn't get annoyed she just gives me cuddles and makes sure I'm alright.  She says I must of been eating something that disagreed with me but my human disagrees with me all the time and I don't eat her!*  So I've been sleeping today and now I'm feeling a whole lot better, my human gave me a little bit of dinner and a drink of water and now I'm going to go back to sleep.

Goodnight.


*Note from Danté's human: he's doing fine, I think he must of eaten something in the undergrowth yesterday that's made him a bit sick.   I'm keeping a good eye on him but he's eating/drinking and his nose is cold & wet so I'm not at all worried.

Up In The Air

I had a great day yesterday.  Me, my human, two human friends and their two superior beings all went out for a walk together.  I had the best time ever.  My human says I've got dreadful manners but I was just very very excited and wanting to play.  We went to some place that's up a hill and had to walk through a wood with loads of mud and old leaves which was great fun, then up on the hill was loads of rabbit poo and stuff for me to roll around in.  I don't think my human was very pleased with me for that but I thought it was funny.

We met loads of stranger humans with their superior beings so I chased around with some of them for a while, I did hear my human and our friend humans telling me to come back but I just pretended I couldn't hear them and carried on playing.

One of the best bits of the whole day was when the humans stopped to eat something they called a picnic.  This turned out to be lots of sandwiches, crisps and cakes.  I was very careful to make sure my human knew I would like to try bits of the picnic but I was good and shared with the two other superior beings.

The funniest thing was when my human got her paw stuck in a rabbit hole and fell right over on her face.  She wasn't hurt or anything so I think it's alright to laugh at her, she was laughing at herself too.  Honestly she always laughs when she falls over or walks into things.

Bedtime.

What Is Maths Anyway

I haven't had the chance to update you all on what I've been doing because my human has been messing around doing something called "maths".  Whatever this maths thing is it takes a lot of her attention away from me and I really do feel completely neglected.  She only took me to the park for an hour on Sunday and for an hour and a bit today.  But that was after she unwillingly played with my toys with me for a few hours.  No, this maths thing is not good.

The superior human took me out yesterday and I had great fun with him and my superior being friend.  I like him a lot and tried to make him take me out again when he was saying goodbye to me and my human.  He just laughed, gave me another biscuit and told me he'll see me soon.  My point is that I got a biscuit.

Earlier on today I did something I knew was naughty but I didn't get into any trouble for it.  My human left a box of eggs sitting on the side in the kitchen and while she was drinking her tea I went and got it down.  I couldn't get it open so I chewed a hole in the end of it and got an egg out.  Once that was done I carried the egg out of my human's sight and ate it.  All of it.  The shell was great fun to crunch but it was doing that which got me caught.  Anyway, she just watched me eat the rest then went back to drinking her tea.  But she did warn me never to do that again.

We'll see.

Uh Oh, I'm In Trouble

Let me explain, I'm not in trouble today because I've mostly* been very good.  Last night though I was in a lot of bother because I decided to go out for a walk.  Without my human.  I ran as fast as I could and my human came running** after me saying to come back.  To be honest I thought it was all rather funny but for some reason she did not.  Anyway, she eventually blackmailed me to come home by coming all the way up our road with one of my toys and by then I was fed up of playing*** and decided to go along with her ideas and come back home.  But, what I didn't realise was that my human was really upset.  She had water coming out of her eyes and going all over her face and I think she sounded a bit scared.  I gave her cuddles and licked her face clean and I will try never to do something like that again.

Today has been nice, my human has been having to sleep a lot so I've been keeping her company by snoozing on**** her bed, and occasionally getting down to get a toy to bring back and play with on her bed.  This evening she was feeling a bit better so she took me to my park to run around.  The postie human brought me a special thing that goes on my collar and at night it flashes different colours so that my human can see me in the dark.  She told me that because I'm a black dog and my park isn't bright enough this will help her a lot.  I like it too because it flashes and my ball glows.  Perfect but she wasn't amused at me trying to chase the Bat creatures...

Now it is time for more snoozing.


Note from Danté's human:
* except when he ran upstairs and tried to get in an open door to a neighbours flat.
** the term "running" is relative, i wasn't exactly sprinting. you might say "fast walking".
*** he wasn't fed up of playing, he just knew i'd have food on me.
**** when Danté says on my bed, he actually means in my bed. under the duvet.

Busy Days

My human had to go and see the vet yesterday, she was gone for hours and I did wonder if she was going to ever come home.  I wasn't on my own though.  The superior human took me out for a long run with my new superior being friend and when he took me home one of my visitor humans was here to spend all afternoon keeping me company.  I tried hard to be very well behaved and I think I managed that quite well.  My visitor human gave me loads of attention and she spent ages playing with me and then gave me my treat ball and a bone!  I've got her figured out already, all I need to do is look gorgeous and drop little hints and I get anything I want, it's like magic.

When my human got home I knew she was feeling tired because of how her face looked so I didn't jump around too much.  She and my visitor human had a drink of that hot stuff that humans like and then my visitor human had to go away to do other things.  I thought me and my human would have a rest but instead we went to my park to play for a while.  My human said she felt good after so I was very pleased about that.  She told me that she had to think about what her vet had been saying and the best place to do that was with me in my park.

Today has been very quiet, no-one has knocked at the door and my human hasn't been fiddling with that noisy metal bone she carries around with her.  She's been sleeping and I've been playing with my toys, chewing my bone and snoozing a bit too.  This evening she took me to my park again, I love going there and I'm learning that I can trust her all the time.


My new home and my new human aren't new any more, they're just mine.

Chuck, Ball, Glo

There is just one thing I want to tell you all about today.  My human bought me a present and I have to say it's really great.  It's a ball but it shows up in the dark.  How amazing is that?  In my park it gets pitch dark and I can't see my usual tennis balls but this one shines a bit like a moon or something.  I chased it all over the place and ran around.  My human seemed to be very happy that I was enjoying myself so much.

I'm going to tell all the superior beings about it and I'll make my human tell all the other humans about it too.

Bog Dog

I had a wonderful time this afternoon.  The superior human who was here the other day came back again but this time he took me out for a run and play with another dog.  It was such a rainy day I got totally soaking wet but superior human gave me a good rub down with a towel before he brought me home.  When I got out of his car to go to my door I got all wet again so my human had to give me another rub down, she took my collars off too so that my neck can dry properly and not get irritated.  I can't wait for the superior human to come back again, he really likes me but everyone does I know, he called me a fantastic dog and said I'm really brilliant but he said that to my human not to me so it must be true.

When I got home I was still looking to play but my human had other ideas.  She decided it would be better to unpack the new hoover contraption thing.  Not only that but she also thought that she needed to try it out.  Next time I see her getting that thing ready to roar I'll be very fast in telling her that it's a bad idea.

Park In The Dark

My human has been acting even more strangely than usual today.  She was getting boxes and bags then emptying them out and going through all the things that was in them but then she was putting all that stuff back into different boxes.  She seemed to think this was a good thing?  I don't see any point in that at all.  I was very patient while all this was going on and she did give me a bone to chew on so to reward her I tried to pretend that I thought it was all a really good thing too.

We just came in from a very long run in the park.  It's dark outside but I don't care, not sure if my human is so relaxed about it though.  I heard her telling my girlfriend's human that she's going to get me a ball that shows up in the dark so that will be great fun!  Also I heard her say that I might be getting another new collar but one that I only get to wear at night, it's got lights in it or something and that will mean she can see me wherever I go.  I'm not sure I like that idea as much as the ball one, I rather like being totally black and able to disappear in the garden at night.  I will figure out a plan to outsmart her on this one, I don't want her thinking I'm not superior enough to win this.

I keep moving around and changing where I'm lying because I can't make my mind up if I want to be in the same room as my human and the ridiculous racket that comes from the lit up box thing which I believe is known as a Television.  I don't care what it's called when it's disturbing my peace!  But I like lying on the bed so I can watch things out of the window and snooze away in comfort that means leaving my human alone in the other room and I'm not sure she can be trusted, yet.

Human Kind Humans

I had a visitor today and I loved every minute of it.  I got loads of attention, a bone, a run in the park and my tennis ball thrown for me.  I've been sleeping all afternoon and have just had my dinner.  I need more sleep.  Being such a spoilt superior being is really quite tiring.

Not Much

I don't have a lot to say for myself just now.  My human has just had her dinner, really what kind of time is this to have a meal?  I make sure to demand my food at reasonable times of day although I'm not complaining about being given a little nibble of her dinner just now, I had to make sure it was nice for her to have.

Today has been a lazy day.  I'd say it was quiet but it was the opposite.  That noisy metal contraption she insists on carrying around with her AND the noisy plastic contraption in my house were both doing their noisy thing all day and to be honest I find it all incredibly dull.  My human spends lots of time talking into those contraptions and seems to take delight in keeping me awake with her inane chit chat.

Added onto that was the number of visitor humans that came to bang on my door today.  One came and collected what's known as a hoover and I was very pleased by that because I don't like those then I got disappointed because it turns out that the parcel that caused all the upset yesterday contains a brand new one.  I may have to try and eat it.  Then a neighbour human came and said he had another parcel for me, I didn't know it was for me but lets face it; the majority of parcels are for me. The postie also came but I was busy at the time with a bone I borrowed** and so I ignored him.

Well that's it from me for today, I'm going to get my human to put some photos of me on here so you can see how extra handsome I am - the profile picture doesn't do me any justice.


  **note from Danté's human. he stole the bone out of the packet which is inside a box.

Adventures

My human had to go to the vet yesterday so one of my visitor humans came to let me look after him.  He took me to the park and I did my best to behave but just couldn't resist playing with some other superior beings in the park, I think visitor human thought I might never go back to him but I did in the end.  When my human came home she had some sort of patches on both her arms, she says the vet had to do some tests but I don't understand why that needed patches, I don't get patches when I see the vet.  I really don't understand humans and their strange ways.

Anyway, my human was so tired when she got home my visitor human had to go to do whatever it is he does in the daytime and then she and me went for a sleep.  I was worried about her and so I went to go and sleep beside her so I could keep watch over her.


Today we went on a Bus Contraption but I quite liked it this time.  I'm learning that if I lie down quietly it's really not so bad and if I pop my nose up every so often I get a little scratch under the chin to show I'm being good.  This was all my idea, the inferior humans would never think of such a clever thing.  When we got off the Bus Contraption I knew exactly where we were going and so I showed my human the way, just in case she'd forgotten.  So I took her across the road and led her all the way to Maggie's so we could meet our usual human there.  I do get very spoilt when I'm there - lots of cuddles and fuss.

When we came home my human picked up some sort of thing that had come through the door flap and started ranting about it.  It seems that she's not very happy about a "courier" whatever one of those might be.  All I know is that yesterday a parcel was supposed to get here and it didn't.  Then she talked on the noisy metal contraption she carries around with her (i think she calls it her bone but it doesn't smell like a bone) and was quite annoyed after that.  Then, this morning, a parcel did arrive and she was happy I think but still ranting about it.  She said the thing through the door after coming home from Maggie's was "the last straw".

I don't totally know what's going on because she never tells me anything but I am glad that the parcel isn't for me this time.  In fact, I don't approve of the parcel at all because it appears to have a Hoover Contraption in it and I don't like those at all.


*sigh* bedtime.


PS, Danté was indeed very good on the bus today but on the way home he sat cuddled up to the wall and shaking a little bit.  He mistook a tiny dog sitting on a ladies knee as being a cat.  He's terrified of cats.  Shh, don't tell him I told you.  Danté's Human

Another Day, Another......

Parcel!  Yes, I know I'm incredibly spoilt but I think I'm worth it.  My human thinks so too - I can tell.

We had another visitor at Danté Towers today, a very nice human who I totally ignored in favour of my bone.  Well I have to have my priorities straight.  Him and my human spent ages just talking about me and the other superior beings they know or have known in the past.  Anyway, I was listening to their chit chat while I pretended to be not interested in them and it seems that this visitor human is going to be taking me out for some of my walks so that my human can rest and hopefully get better.  I think he's a superior being in disguise so that makes him a superior human.

I'm looking forward to going on some walks with superior human but I think I'll have to be on best behaviour because he seems to understand how to keep control of superior beings who pull and mess around.  He says he'll introduce me to some other superior beings so I'll be able to get to know them and make new friends.  I think that's brilliant!

The human vet had better be good at their job, I need my human to get mended.

On Danté's Behalf

Hi everyone, Danté asked me to update you all about his day today, he requested that I take him to the park and then spent over an hour chasing his ball and running around like a wild thing.  He's getting really good at understanding not to pull on his lead but he still needs a good bit of work on that.  I think he also needs to learn some dog-manners and try to curb his enthusiasm for playing with every dog he sees.  Thankfully he's not at all aggressive but he is incredibly bouncy, jumpy and overbearing.  He hasn't met a dog who stands up to him yet it seems all the others so far have been quite submissive.  I know he's young so he's got learning to do.

I can't quite believe that I've had him for two weeks already, I feel like he's been here for months.  He's reasonably good but definately the lab in him has that "dustbin dog" trait because if there's a tiny crumb to be found then you can guarantee Danté will hoover it up.  This morning I caught him trying to eat a whole box of chocolate biscuits, I'm not sure if he swallowed any but he's been totally fine so I reckon I stopped him before he could eat any.

As is customary in my life I've picked a birthday for Danté out of a hat, it came out as 12th November so that's going to be his special day, his adoption day is 24th September.  I like to have special dates to look forward to and plan something special for.  I need a good recipe for doggy birthday cake...

So, as Danté came home, had a drink and flopped out asleep it gives me some time to do other things.  I hope he's pleased with this update from what he calls an Inferior Being but I'm sure he'll let you all know.

Two Day

I have to catch up with yesterday before I tell you about today so here goes.

Yesterday me and my human went on a Bus Contraption to visit all the other humans at Maggie's Centre.  I like going there because I get spoilt with cuddles and everyone tells me how wonderful I am.  Well, wonderful unless I go sniffing around in things that aren't any of my business...like the bees nest I dug up yesterday afternoon.  I got in a load of trouble for that.  But I didn't behave at all and when I was getting called back I ignored that and ran around instead.  I'm not naughty just high spirited.  Anyway, I was well behaved apart from that and got treats of these lovely little cakes and some other bits and pieces.  I'm such a cool superior being.

My human wasn't feeling well at all yesterday, I think that she needs to try and take things a bit easy so that she starts to feel better.  She has to go to the human vet soon so I'm getting looked after by a visitor human while mine is away.  On the Bus Contraption my human was snoozing so I sat very nice and quiet under the seat, to be honest I was snoozing too but I don't think anyone noticed.


Today it has been very wet and rainy.  I don't like going into my garden in the rain but I do love going to my park and getting as soaked as I possibly can.  My human took a ball for me to play with today so I went chasing back and forth with that but I made sure I rolled around on the grass to make sure I got covered in as much mud and water as I could.  The walk humans who took me out during the week have borrowed my human a lead and collar to help teach me not to pull.  On the way to my park today I only tried pulling once and on the way back I pulled to let my human know we were at our door.

Then when we got back inside I had the indignity of being dried off with a towel.  A towel! I'm a superior being, I should be dried with a hairdryer then wrapped in two fleece blankets.  But sadly my inferior human doesn't realise this.  Not only that but she has told me I'm to be given a shower.  That's pushing it more than a bit.  The nerve.

Also, she said that it was raining cats and dogs when we were at my park.  I looked as hard as I could but I never saw any other superior beings in my park and as for those cat thingies well, none of those either.

I'm going to go to sleep now and pretend to be asleep every time my human mentions the shower from now on.

Steady As We Go

Today has been a quiet day, just me and my human.  She's still not well and I'm getting worried about her because she does try to play with me but seems to get too tired to play for very long.  The human vet spoke to her on that noisy contraption she carries around and I think that was a good thing.  She's going to take me round the block in a while, I'll enjoy that and will be careful not to pull too hard.

Busy Day

Well today has been quite busy but very exciting.

One of the humans from yesterday came to take me out for a walk again and we had a brilliant time.  She let me run around and play and I love doing that.  I managed to chase one of those strange squirrel creatures again but this time I went tearing straight after it.  Oh such good fun!  The walk human has taught me a couple of new tricks, I think my human was very impressed and happy that I'm being so good.  She just took me out today, her two superior beings from yesterday were at home but we had loads of fun.

Then another new human came to visit me and brought me a present.  Its a ball that food goes in and she taught me how to nose it along and make the treats fall out.  She told me I'm very clever to learn that so fast.  I got to chew a bone while my human and visitor human had a chat.  I am starting to think that all my human ever does is chat.


Last night was sort of funny, I was all tucked up and fast asleep and my human was too.  Then, in the dark and unexpectedly she started singing.  I don't like her singing in the daylight but it's 10x worse at night.  So I jumped up on top of her but it didn't stop her she just started singing something else!  What am I to do?  I decided to sit right on her back to make her stop breathing and eventually she did go quiet.  I'll have to remember that if she decides to sing ever again.

The song went a bit like agadoo doo doo shake a something up a tree.  It didn't even make sense!

Anyway, its time for a snooze to make up for the disturbance in the night.

New Visitor Humans

My human isn't well again so she asked two of her human friends if they would mind taking me out for a walk.  I had a great time but I decided to be a bit naughty and go back to pulling very hard on my lead.  My human doesn't let me do that but maybe I won't do it if I see the new visitor humans again because they are really nice people.  They had two of their superior beings with them so I've made another two friends and met another two wonderful humans.

Its a bit rainy today but I like water so that's ok by me.  Now it's definately dinner time.

Not Just A Walk In The Park

Well yesterday was a bit strange really.  My human took me out to play in the park as usual but there was something wrong with her and after she'd thrown my ball for me a few times she had to sit down on the bench because she was feeling all wobbly.  I don't know much about how humans operate but I knew something in her circuitry must have gone wonky.  Two new humans stopped to ask if my human was alright and then the next thing I know is a thing like a Bus Contraption had come into my park and two very strange new humans got out.  They put my human in a chair and took her into their Bus Contraption and to be honest I wasn't too happy about that but I wasn't allowed to go with her.  Then, the Bus Contraption drove off with my human still inside it.  So I was left behind in the park with the new humans.

After a little while our visitor human came and got me, I was very pleased to see him!  He took me back to my house and kept me company.  He's a kind human and made sure I was alright.  I got taken out by him for a walk and a play in the garden but I was missing my human a lot and wondered where she was.

Visitor human said that my human would probably be home soon but it was ages before she came back.  I was jumping around and jumping on her to say hello and tell her I was very glad that she came back.  I get a bit anxious when I get left on my own or don't know where my human is.  Visitor human told her I'd been very good and no trouble, I sort of ignored him when she got here but I really did like him looking after me because I know him.

My human has been talking about me to people today.  She is hoping that I'll be able to get looked after by dog humans who spend all day looking after superior beings such as myself if their humans have to be somewhere else.  I like the sound of that because I'll have superior company and my human won't need to worry about me.


I've made a friend of the superior being who lives next door.  She's lovely, my human says she's too old for me but I don't think that matters.  I gave her a good sniff the other night and saw her with her human yesterday on the way to my park.  I might have been a little bit too keen to show I like her because she did tell me off after a while.  All day today I've been trying to listen for her and her human going out so I might see her again, I've also been sniffing her front door.  My human says I'm on a highway to nowhere and I need to give up.  We'll see.

Only A Week

I've been living with my human for a whole week now and I really like it here.  We've been on loads of adventures already and I think that there might be more adventures to come and I hope I'm right because I love adventures.

Today has been nice and quiet.  We had a visit from that human who was round the other day but he didn't bring me a toy this time.  My human says I shouldn't be expecting toys from everyone who we see but I don't agree with that.  I think everyone should bring me toys and pour out affection on me, especially the postman who wasn't very happy when I took the post out of his hand when he pushed it through the letter box.  I didn't bite him or anything and I wouldn't do such a thing but I did scare him by pulling the letters in.  My human told me off for that but I was only trying to help.

After the visitor human left I had an afternoon snooze and then made my human take me out to the park.  We met another superior being and her human while we were there but I wasn't allowed to play with her because she's hurt her leg.  She was talking to me very loudly in our superior language and her human kept saying for her to be quiet.  I was laughing but I didn't talk back.  The grass was lovely and wet in the park so I made the most of it by rolling around and crawling along on my belly.  I was soaked when it was hometime but I don't mind - I like water.  My human was wet all up to her knees and I don't think she was very happy about the mud, she says I made it worse by jumping on her when she had my ball but she didn't sound cross and she was smiling.

Tonight I plan to sleep, eat and sleep.  Then sleep a bit more.  It's hard work being this brilliant.

Why, Why, Why

My human is definitely a really strange sort of creature.  She thinks it's a good idea to go out and play in the heat.  Play!  All I wanted to do was lie indoors and sleep but oh no, she was out in the garden with my tennis ball in her hand trying to make me run around.  Well, I was having none of it so when she threw my ball, I sauntered up the garden after it, had a sniff then sauntered back.  She then went and collected it, brought it back and threw it again.  So that continued until she finally caught on that I wasn't interested and we came back inside.  Humans really do have the strangest of ideas.

This evening I've been snoozing and dozing.  I had my dinner then went and found a plastic tub to play with.  I was ready to get in trouble for that but my human didn't seem too bothered.  She's so laid back, not much ever appears to bother her.  Well, not much aside from being in the park and me ignoring her.  She has this whistle thing and it is seriously loud.  I think it must wake up every superior being in the neighbourhood nevermind the inferior humans.

Time for sleep.

Batty

I managed to get my human to take me out to the park this evening.  Being lazy all day is nice but I do love a run around with my ball.  We saw a few other humans and a couple of other Superior Beings like myself but my human wasn't amused when I ignored her and tried to play with the others.  Earlier this afternoon she told me I was driving her batty because I wouldn't pick a spot and lie down, I kept getting up and moving to cool spots on the floor.

Well, that was a funny thing for my human to say because at the park there were lots of strange little creatures flying around.  I knew they weren't birds, well not any kind of bird I've seen before and they were moving so fast I had to run in circles to keep watching them.  My human said that they are bats but she didn't say they were driving her batty.  The cheek.  The wretched things were flying around in circles above my human and me when all I wanted to do was play with my ball.

I think my human rather likes bats, she didn't make any noise or try to run away.  Not like the other human I saw.  That human looked really scared.  Honestly, the tiny little things weren't interested.  In fact, those bats are more aloof than I am with the humans.

Lazy Thursday

Today has made up for the busy Sunday I had this week.  Yesterday's adventures have worn me out and my human isn't much better.  We're both really tired and I've been asleep all day long so far.  It's very hot outside and it's nice to have some dry weather but the bright, hot sunshine is no good for a handsome fellow like me with a pure black coat.  My human says we can go out for a run around later when it get's a bit cooler but I don't know if I can be bothered, I keep trying to tell her that by flopping down and sighing a lot but I'm not sure that her inferior human intelligence understands my communicative efforts.

I may write more later or I may just continue to laze around and snooze.

New Humans

Today was a real adventure and I really enjoyed most of it.  I was taken on a Bus Contraption, a sort of half size thing with no upstairs like the other one.  I did sit down most of the time but kept my eyes on the door and plotted my escape.  Unfortunately it would appear that my human was wise to this and she kept me close and on my lead.

We got off the Bus Contraption and had a nice walk through some old hospital place or other, my human didn't seem too impressed and kept telling me about it being a disgrace that it's going to wrack and ruin.  I think I'd rather enjoy ruins, especially if there were rabbits and other jumpy things living there.  I decided to behave well on my lead today because my human had my favourite toy in her bag and I get it to play with when I'm good.  I suspect she may be trying to bribe me but I don't mind too much because it's a nice bribe.  Not like going to the vet where I have the indignity of getting poked and prodded then only end up with a biscuit.  I think a vet visit is worth at least a new ball.

After we'd walked we got to another hospital but this one was busy and not in wrack and ruin.  Well, I don't think it was but what do I know.  We went to some building with a garden and trees around it but the most exciting bit about the walk there was the squirrel I saw.  I was pulling, jumping...trying anything to let my human know I wanted to go and play with it.  She had other ideas and said no.  One thing about my human is there's no point arguing if she says no because she really means it.  I'll have to work on that.

So this building we went to was really lovely and there was a huge bowl of water waiting for me.  That was a great relief because it was very hot today.  A few humans were sitting at a table, talking as usual because that seems to be all humans ever do.  When they saw me coming they all came to say hello and make a big fuss of me.  My human said I'm antisocial because I mostly wasn't interested in them but I was really just pretending not to be interested.  Under my calm and aloof exterior I was loving all the attention.  I think my human will take me there again because she says it's a very special place.  This is why she says that;

A long time ago there was a lady called Maggie and she wasn't very well.  Maggie wanted to make a special place for humans who are ill to go and be able to talk and have a nice place to sit together and get help or support.  Maggie cared such a lot about getting it right and did design and everything to make it just right.  It's very sad but Maggie died before it was all finished and so she never got to see her special place.  Maggie's husband has been into the special building and he thinks it's brilliant.  The name of the building is Maggie's Centre and it's in Edinburgh but there are others all over the place now, even in Hong Kong which is a very long way away.

My human goes to Maggie's Centre because she isn't very well and the other humans there help her to figure stuff out and they make sure she understands all the hard medical bits.  She told me that Maggie's is not only a special place because of the lady called Maggie but because everyone who goes there is really kind and understanding to each other.  I like it because I get biscuits.

When we were finished meeting all the new humans we had to go on another Bus Contraption to come home.  I was tired after the day of adventures and I decided to lie down and sleep.  After we got home I had some dinner and water and now I'm going off to cuddle down for the night.


PS, my human says I need to share the URL for Maggie's Centre so other people can read about what it is, what it does and a bit more about it.  So I'll oblige - here it is: http://bit.ly/pHVmWd

Duped

Last night I was duped by the human.  She made out that we were going for a run in the park but actually it was a test and we went on a monstrous contraption called a Bus.  Thank goodness we didn't go very far as it was the most unexciting thing I have ever experienced.  Worse even than the chit chat that the humans have with each other.  Anyway, I did get a good run around in an enormous park after getting off the Bus Contraption and that did sort of make up for the indignity of it all.

Today I was taken to a shop to get a new tag for my collar.  The human got her name and phone number written on it which is all fine unless some inferior being thinks that's actually my name.  So if I get lost she'll get a phone call on that noisy thing she carries around everywhere with her.  Really, she treats it as if it's a bone or something actually precious.  Noisy piece of metal rubbish.

It was hot outside this afternoon, I didn't enjoy the walk to the shops very much there was lots of traffic and noise.  No, I like my parks a lot better - even if I do get taken on that Bus Contraption to get to one.  Hopefully the human will realise I don't particularly like going on the Bus and will walk me everywhere instead but I suspect she intends to take me more places on it.

I don't intend to get duped in this way again.  I must restore my superiority before the human thinks she is in charge.

Non Stop

It's been a busy day in Dante Towers.  I got three parcels in the post and now have a few more toys, new collar and lead and a huge bag of food.  One of the delivery humans gave me a pat but I didn't mind.  This afternoon I had a surprise visitor who brought me a toy which I really like and am carrying around with me.  He was a nice human but too strong for me to pull along on our walk.  I didn't know what a visitor was until today but it seems that a visitor is when a new human comes to Dante Towers to drink tea and bring toys.  Visitor and my human drank tea while I chewed on a rawhide bone.  I was bored with their chitter chatter anyway.  Why do the humans seem to talk so much?  Us superior beings don't bother with all that, just a quick sniff of a bum and wag of a tail then on with the playing.  We have our priorities right.

The human thinks that we're going on a bus tomorrow to see if I like it.  I'm not sure if I'll play along or say I'm not going to do it.  Perhaps if I am able to bribe some treats as a reward for behaving well and I get a walk at the end of it then I'll decide to co-operate.  I have a master plan, of course.  The human doesn't suspect a thing.  It mainly involves as many treats and nice things as I can get for the minimum effort and the human will never guess what I'm up to.

I'm tired now, I've earned a snooze.

Don't They Know It's Sunday?

I had the human up and awake at 5am this morning.  Unfortunately it was not to play with me but to clean up my vomit in the hall.  She was remarkably calm about it all, I had suspected that she might be somewhat grumpy considering the mess but all she did was put paper over it and take me out to the garden for a bit of fresh air.  Then we went back and had a nice sleep.  I was surprised but she was very kind.

One thing I have noticed about my human is that she doesn't seem to raise her voice, she tells me that she doesn't like noise very much and when we're inside she tells me things in a whisper.  This is new to me but I like it.  I am getting to know the House Rules but of course being of superior intelligence I only need to be told twice.  I have been following her from room to room so that I can keep an eye on her and make sure that she is behaving properly but soon I will let her out of sight for a few minutes.  Once I know she's not going to get locked in the bathroom or something like that.

My main complaint at this point in time is that humans don't seem to understand that Sunday is supposed to be a quiet day of doing nothing, sleeping the time away in peace and quiet.  The only point of being awake is to go out into the garden.  But, I will have my work cut out on this I fear.  I was all nice and settled when the human decides it's time to go for a walk.  A walk!  I ask you, what exactly did she think the purpose of that was going to be?

So, off we trotted, and I tried very hard to show that I remember the "lead manners" she taught me yesterday and she seemed to be very pleased with me.  I still tried to pull her along but I have realised that there may be no point to doing that as she just stands still and waits for me to come back.  She keeps saying "Dante Heel" which is her way of telling me to walk without pulling.  I might not make it obvious yet that I know that.  Anyway, it was so hot outside and I was pleased when we got into a shaded spot.  I stopped to scratch my ear and along came another human.  She had a bunch of flowers with her but I sniffed them and they weren't my type of thing.  The human wanted to pet me and that's all fine but I'm a boy and don't really go in for the mushy stuff.  I let her scratch my head and she told me I'm a handsome boy with lovely eyes.  Well, I know that but it was nice of her to remind me.  My human and that other one started to chat, the way humans do...I sat down and looked as bored as I could to make them talk faster.

Now we are home, its lovely and cool in this room so I'm going off to have a deserved nap.  The human is watching television, some kind of rubbish about nothing in particular.

Honestly, being energetic on a Sunday.  Whatever next.

Something Afoot

I knew the humans were up to something.  They've been acting even more strangely than usual for the past few days.  The other night I got put in the car, I don't enjoy the car and I let them know that by refusing to jump in.  I make them work and they lift me instead.  Humans are so easy to manipulate, they don't even realise it's part of my grand plan.

Anyway, I was then driven to some city or other and bundled out and made to walk for a while.  I do like walking, I especially like pulling a human along behind me.  We ended up at a big park with hills, trees, benches and that kind of stuff.  The human appeared to be meeting one of their kind but I pretended not to be interested in them.  The new human asked lots of questions about me and then took hold of my lead.  I did my best to pull and get my own way but this one is strong.  I think she may have done that before.

I did get a nice walk but I wasn't on my best behaviour I wanted to know what the humans were plotting and just how I'd become involved in it.  They took me back to the car and I made them lift me in again - I do so like being awkward about such things.  Then one human drove me out of the city and the other one disappeared.

Then, this morning I was once again put in the car and driven back to that city but this time my bed and treats were with me in the car.  I did wonder if we were going for a picnic or other adventure but when we parked the human from the other night was there waiting for us.  So it turns out this is going to be my new place to live.

New human is nice, she's very kind and has been helping me settle in.  We've been for two great walks but she doesn't seem to like being pulled and I think that I might have to start walking with manners.  But not yet, that would be too easy.  We laid on the floor together this afternoon and I had a sleep while she fiddled with some irritating noisy gadget of some sort.

I think I'm going to like it here.  But the human needs a lot of training.